The Hum of 'Too Much' and the Path Back to Connection
There’s a particular hum to modern life, isn’t there? It’s not always loud. Sometimes, it’s just a low-grade thrum beneath the surface—a vibration of to-do lists, deadlines, and the quiet, persistent feeling that you aren’t doing enough, fast enough. We learn to function with this hum. We praise it, even, calling it productivity, ambition, or grit. We learn to push through.
I’ve been spending a lot of time this weekend deep in my Somatic Experiencing Intermediate training, and a concept that has landed with profound resonance is Global High Intensity Activation, or GHIA. It’s the clinical term for that state of being completely overwhelmed, where your nervous system is so flooded with stress hormones that it gets stuck in the 'on' position. Think of a car with the accelerator pressed to the floor, even in neutral. That's the hum. It’s a state of high alert, of fight or flight, but often without a clear, present threat. It just becomes our baseline.
And what do we do when we’re in that state? We over-do. We push through the fatigue, ignore the subtle (or screaming) signals from our body, and keep moving. It can look incredibly functional from the outside. We’re still getting the kids to school, meeting work deadlines, keeping the house in order. But inside, our system is burning fuel at an unsustainable rate. This functional freeze is a brilliant survival strategy, but it comes at a cost: a deep and painful disconnection from ourselves.
Recognizing this pattern in my own life has been a revelation. The tendency to mistake that high-intensity hum for a normal state of being. The habit of honouring the to-do list more than the tremor in my hands or the tightness in my chest.
So where do we even begin with this? The path toward navigating this intensity isn't about finding a magic button to turn it off. Instead, it starts with the foundational practice of resourcing.
Resourcing is the gentle, deliberate act of turning our attention toward anything that brings even a flicker of ease, safety, or neutrality. It is the practice of building a different kind of relationship with our nervous system, one moment at a time. It’s about cultivating anchors of safety we can return to.
For me, resourcing can be incredibly simple:
Feeling the solid ground beneath my feet for three full breaths.
Pausing to look out the window and notice the exact shade of gold on the autumn leaves.
Wrapping my hands around a warm mug of tea and actually feeling the warmth seep into my palms.
Placing a hand on my own heart and noticing the rhythm of its beat.
These aren’t grand gestures meant to solve everything at once. They are micro-moments of return. Each one is a small act of defiance against the tyranny of pushing through. They are how we begin to build our capacity to be with what is true in the present moment.
And here is the most beautiful discovery in all of this: as we practise resourcing, we strengthen our ability to be present with ourselves, even amidst the intensity. This capacity is the bedrock of true relationship.
When we are stuck in that high-activation state, we can’t truly connect with others. We might be in the same room, but our nervous system is in a war room. We can listen to words, but we can't feel the emotional current beneath them. We can't offer our full, regulated presence because we don't have access to it ourselves. We are, in essence, unavailable.
By practising resourcing, we come home to our own bodies first. We find a centre. And from that more settled, aware place, we can finally turn towards another person. We can listen without our own alarm bells ringing. We can offer empathy that comes from a place of fullness, not depletion. We can be present. We can truly come into relationship—with our partners, our children, our friends, and most fundamentally, with ourselves.
So today, I’m offering a gentle invitation, to you and to me: Where is the hum of too much in your life? And what is one small resource, one moment of sensory goodness, that you can offer yourself to build your capacity for presence today?
